The Dark Side of Life
by Lia76
Summary: Sam has something that Lilith wants after all and Dean is brought back to life in exchange. Can Dean save Sam before the darkness takes ahold of his little brother permanently? Dean's POV. Follows events of season three finale.
1. Chapter 1

**The Dark Side of Life**

**Chapter 1**

The unrelenting cacophony of pain, sound, and lighting flashes suddenly ceased and Dean's eyes shot open in confusion, the last of unshed tears slipping down his cheeks and a scream dying in his throat. Dean struggled to slow his breathing and his rapid heartbeat, knowing that he needed to calm down if he had _any_ hope of grasping what the hell was going on now. He wondered if whoever or whatever was running the show had grown bored and wished to move on to Act Two of his torture. However, although his ears still rang and his muscles still vibrated from the agony that he had been enduring for God knows _how_ long, it was blessedly quiet and Dean no longer felt the tight pull and searing heat of multiple metal hooks jabbing into his flesh. What he _could_ feel was that he was no longer suspended at all and beneath him was what felt like soft cushions. After his eyes adjusted to the change in light, Dean recognized that above him was a dingy white ceiling. He sat upright on what he now saw was a worn couch and looked around quickly, unsure of how or why he was seeing what he _thought_ he was seeing in the room around him. It looked like…it looked like…what part of hell would look like _Bobby's_ house?

"Dean?!" he heard Bobby exclaim with what sounded to be a mixture of elation and relief from somewhere nearby.

In an instant, the older hunter was at Dean's side and wrapping his arms around the younger man in a bear hug. Still in shock, Dean tried to pull away from his "friend," wary of this new scenario, but Bobby held him tight. Sure, Dean had wished a million times to see his close friend again, for human contact, but he was _not_ an idiot. He knew that he was not really seeing Bobby or sitting on his couch. As Dean's mind sorted through the dismal possibilities, he realized that likely the horror that was about to commence was of a much more sophisticated nature. In this part of hell, he realized that he would probably have to watch this Bobby suffer. Watch him die…maybe over and over...

"It worked," Dean heard Sam's voice say flatly.

Dean's head snapped to the left and he couldn't help gasping in surprise when he saw what appeared to be his little brother standing only a few feet away. Sam too? Of course. It was _hell_ after all, Dean resigned, and it was no secret that his little brother was and will _always_ be his weak spot. Tears sprung to Dean's eyes once again. Seeing the likeness of Bobby and his brother…there were _no_ words. No matter _how _short lived this moment would surely be, it was so good to see them both…_so _good. Dean watched as Sam repositioned the strap of his army green duffle bag on his shoulder. As much as Dean dreaded was about what was going to happen next, he couldn't make himself tear his eyes away from his little brother just yet. He wanted to burn this moment into his mind in the hopes that it could keep him from focusing on other gruesome events that were sure to come...

"Sam," Bobby said as he pulled away from Dean to rush and block the young hunter's path. "Let's talk about this first!"

"Dean's okay so I have to go now," Sam said in the same emotionless tone.

"Don't you even want to say _anything_ to your brother first? Give him a hug goodbye? At least look at him, God damn it!" Bobby yelled as he motioned to where Dean sat.

Their exchange of words confused Dean. He was unsure of what point it all served unless... Could it be? Was it possible that he _was _okay? That somehow he _had _GOTTEN OUT of hell? No. NO. It was just part of the insidious game. But…. BUT what if it _wasn't_? Dean briefly turned away from the other two men and quickly ran his hands over his body. Wiggled his feet. Everything looked fine. _Felt_ fine. Even his clothes looked free of blood! He tentatively put his foot to the floor and pushed on it. His leg felt stiff, but strong. Like it could hold his weight. God, did it feel _good_ to feel solid ground beneath him again.

"I know that you don't agree with it, and I'm sorry about that, but it was worth it, Bobby. A year in exchange for eternity," Sam said as he unsuccessfully tried to again maneuver past the older man.

"They won't need a year!" Bobby implored. "And it doesn't matter what _I_ think! What about Dean? You know he doesn't want this!"

Sam's eyes darted to Dean and Dean saw the tears in them. Caught the fear and uncertainty in them as well. Although he knew he still would not yet trust the answer, Dean couldn't help but ask.

"S-sammy?" Dean rasped, his throat dry, as he swung his other leg from the couch onto the floor and stood up on shaking legs. "Talk to me. Am I…am I…_out_ of hell?"

Tears fell down Sam's cheeks now as he parted his lips into a small, sad looking smile.

"Yeah. You're out of hell, Dean," he answered in a shaky voice.

Dean paused as his brain processed his brother's words. _Out_ of hell. He said out of hell. How? HOW??

"What happened?" Dean asked his little brother, continuing to go along with this "reality" for the time being, realizing that he probably had no choice but to do so anyway.

Sam looked away again and did not answer the question, choosing to turn and address Bobby instead.

"Please..._please_ just...don't make this any harder than it already is," Sam begged as he hastily wiped the tears away.

"Don't think I could, boy! Because this is already pretty damn hard!" Bobby exclaimed.

An unbearable realization suddenly hit Dean like a punch to the gut.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Dean yelled after he stumbled around the couch to his brother, grabbed his shoulders, and began to shake them.

Sam easily wrenched out of Dean's grasp and shoved him away. Caught off guard by such his little brother's uncharacteristic action, Dean fell back against the couch, but righted himself quickly to again face Sam.

"Sammy," Dean said as he gently put his hands on his brother's shoulders this time.

Again Sam broke free and stepped back, no longer looking Dean in the eye.

"Don't…don't touch me," Sam said, as if it was all he could do to keep himself together. "I can't...I can't do this now."

Dean did not again reach for Sam, but was not detered from asking the most difficult question of all.

"If I am out of hell and I mean i_f_," Dean reiterated, "did you…did you give your _soul_ for me?"

"No. Not my soul, Dean," Sam answered as he straightened his posture and the unreadable expression returned to his face. "My service."

As if on cue, a loud bonging began to sound from the other side of the room. Momentarily distracted, Bobby and Dean turned to look at the source. A black clock hanging on Bobby's wall had begun to strike midnight. When Bobby and Dean turned back a few seconds later to resume their conversation with the youngest Winchester, they discovered that Sam was gone.

Thanks for reading! FYI, it may be a bit until the next post, since I am working on some other stories and am getting married at the end of this month. Thank you in advance for your patience.


	2. Chapter 2

"_If I am out of hell and I mean i__f__," Dean reiterated, "did you…did you give your __soul__ for me?"_

"_No. Not my soul, Dean," Sam answered as he straightened his posture and the unreadable expression returned to his face. "My service."_

_As if on cue, a loud bonging began to sound from the other side of the room. Momentarily distracted, Bobby and Dean turned to look at the source. A black clock hanging on Bobby's wall had begun to strike midnight. When Bobby and Dean turned back a few seconds later to resume their conversation with the youngest Winchester, they discovered that Sam was gone._

**Chapter 2**

"What the HELL IS GOING ON?" Dean yelled at no one in particular as he stood in the middle of Bobby's living room in shock at what had just happened.

"Dean-," Bobby said soothingly as he took the younger man's arm.

"F you, demon!" Dean shouted as he wrenched out of the older man's grasp and stumbled towards the door. He threw it open and began to run, but did not get far in his still weakened state. Bobby easily caught up with him a few moments later and grabbed both of his arms this time.

"Listen to me! I know that it'll take a while for you to believe it, but you ARE out of hell! You ARE okay now!" Bobby implored.

Dean again pulled out of the other man's grip, but with much less gusto this time. After dropping down to sit on the bumper of a nearby rusted out car, he unconsciously wrapped his arms around his stomach and began to slightly rock back and forth. Bobby sat down next to him, but to Dean's relief, did not touch him this time.

"Son, a lot has happened in the three weeks that you have been…indisposed and I'll be happy to fill you in about it if you will let me," Bobby offered. "_Please_."

Dean glanced over at his friend. Was this _really_ Bobby then? The older man sounded sincere, although the look on Bobby's face appeared as if he was addressing a wild animal that had been backed into a corner. Dean couldn't blame him though. Could a person go to hell and back and _still_ be sane?

"Talk," Dean barked as he turned his head to stare at a spot in the trees off in the distance. It was all so damn confusing that he didn't know what to do, or believe, anymore.

Bobby nodded.

"Well, a little after midnight, I raced back into the house where the three of you were last seen. I found Sam crying over your body and before he even told me what happened, I guessed easily enough. It…it was pretty horrific," Bobby explained as he stood up and shoved his hands into his pants pockets. Dean didn't miss the tears in the older man's eyes. They seemed sincere too.

"Black dogs," Dean remembered.

Dean also remembered their immense size. Midnight black color. Hot breath…and razor sharp claws and teeth.

"Yeah. You were…ripped to shreds, Dean," Bobby explained. "and Sam was forced to watch it happen. Seeing your loved one murdered right in front of you is-."

"Like dying yourself," Dean finished, remembering when he saw Jake stab and kill Sam in front of him in Cold Oak.

"Yeah," Bobby agreed.

Dean wondered if the older man was thinking of when he killed his wife when she was possessed, having known nothing of the supernatural at the time. However, that discussion went no further when Bobby quickly moved on to continue his recount of the events since the night that Dean's deal came due.

"Sam pulled himself together the best that he could when he saw me, but he couldn't quite get the words out about what exactly happened. Instead, he asked me to help him carry you to the Impala. After we were done moving you onto the backseat, he drove off without another word. I didn't know where he was going or what the hell he was up to. He wouldn't answer my calls…and I couldn't find him. I called in every favor I could, but no luck. It was like he dropped off the face of the earth! Two days ago, in the middle of the night, without any warning, I woke to the sound of him pounding on my door. He had you slung over his shoulder, talking a mile a minute about how he had found a way to save you," Bobby continued. "I was…shocked, to put it mildly. You looked like you were just sleeping, wearing fresh clothes with no blood on you or signs of any injury, whereas Sam, well, Sam looked….he looked crazy. No other way to describe it."

"What did he say?" Dean asked, his interest in hearing more overshadowing his wariness of the situation.

"To make a long story short, he said that he had first found a Hoodoo doctor to perform some type of spell to restore your body and then summoned Lilith and made a deal to bring you back to life and get your soul out of hell and back into it," Bobby said.

"A deal for what, Bobby? I think I remember Lilith saying that Sam didn't have anything that she wanted," Dean recalled.

"You're right. That's what Sam told me too. But that was _before_ you died and _before_ she tried to kill him," Bobby explained.

"_Tried_ to kill him?" Dean asked, confused.

"That's right. She couldn't do it. Even had to leave Ruby's body before Sam killed her with the demon killing knife," Bobby reviewed.

"How _did _Sam survive?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"That's the million dollar question. Guess Ruby was right about Sam's dormant power," Bobby answered.

"And what was that year for eternity stuff that Sam said?" Dean asked. His brain felt like it was exploding with questions.

"A year of Sam's service in exchange for getting you out of your eternity in hell. For one year, Sam must do Lilith's bidding," Bobby answered. "For what purpose, I don't know yet."

"And after the year up, he's free to go? And I stay out of hell?" Dean asked in surprise as he tried to process what Bobby was telling him.

"Yeah. I've heard about other people who have made similar deals. Souls are not the only things demons want and bargain for. But no deals with demons ever turn out well. No one _ever_ beats the house," Bobby said.

"What do you think is going to happen?" Dean asked.

"Not think. _Know._ They will turn him, no matter how strong he is, and it won't be pretty. And when they do, Sam won't know which way is up, much less good versus evil. We will lose him forever. They won't need a year, and they know it too. We have to find a way to save Sam AND keep you out of hell at the same time," Bobby explained.

"How?" Dean asked, as unbearable as it was to hear about what torture they had in store for his little brother.

"Don't know yet. Don't have enough information. It's nothing short of an uphill battle, that I can tell you. I need your help before it's too late…for everybody," Bobby said. "If we lose Sam...and if he's as powerful as Ruby thought, the war could turn in their favor. Maybe permanently."

"I don't care about everybody else! This wasn't how it was supposed to be! WHY didn't you try harder to stop him, Bobby?" Dean yelled as he stood to face the older man face to face. He couldn't hold back the emotions any more.

"Because HE wouldn't let me! Just like YOU wouldn't let me help you before you gave your soul for Sam and your DAD wouldn't let me help him before he made the deal to save you!" Bobby yelled back. "Look, I'm sorry, I…I don't want to pass judgment on anything that has happened, but-."

"I'd rather be in hell for a MILLION lifetimes then lose Sam to them! I just…I just want him to be safe and to be left alone for once!" Dean yelled as tears of anger, frustration, and helplessness began to flow down his cheeks.

Bobby walked over and put his hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"I'm far from a religious man, Dean, but I have prayed every day since your mom died that you boys would get the happy ending that your entire family deserved. It IS going to happen, even if it's the last thing I do," Bobby vowed. "This time, I'm asking for _your_ help. What do you say?"

Dean nodded yes and Bobby pulled him into a hug, saying nothing else. A moment later, Dean let Bobby help him back into the house and onto the couch. He was asleep in moments. Whether he was still in hell or not, Dean was too exhausted to function anymore.

_The next morning…._

"Dean. Dean! Hey!" Dean heard Bobby say loudly as he felt his shoulders being shook.

Disoriented, Dean shot up on the couch, his breathing heavy and his body covered in sweat. He had been having a nightmare, he recognized that much, but he could not remember what it was about. As Dean's eyes focused on the older man's now retreating back, they adjusted to the bright light that filled Bobby's living room.

"Take a shower and then meet me for breakfast in ten," Bobby said before he disappeared into the kitchen. "I put your bag in the bathroom that Sam left for you."

After he quickly composed himself, Dean stood up with a groan, stretching his sore muscles, and headed for the bathroom. He did not dwell on the multiple long scars that he found on his body after he undressed. Funny how the metal hooks didn't leave any marks. After a brief but very hot shower, he dressed into fresh clothes from his green duffle bag and headed for the kitchen where he found Bobby making scrambled eggs and toast. Dean felt better and could use a bite to eat. A steaming mug of coffee was waiting for him on the small round table as well.

"How do you feel, kid?" Bobby asked.

"Like I've been to hell and back," Dean answered with a smile.

"You want to talk about it?" Bobby asked after a moment.

"Thanks, but no. I do want to say that I'm uh…sorry…about how I acted yesterday, okay?" Dean said as he said down and took the hot mug in his hands.

"Don't mention it," Bobby said as he took the eggs from the pan onto a plate with the toast and placed it in front of Dean. "A man who comes back from hell is allowed some slack in the manners department. So you do finally believe that you're out of the pit?"

After Bobby sat down across from Dean, the younger man gave him his answer with a smile.

"Ninety percent sure."

"I'll take it," Bobby said with a smile of his own before taking a bite of his toast.

"My brain's still foggy. Any idea about what we should do first?" Dean asked after taking a sip of the hot liquid.

"I think we should focus first on finding Lilith's head goon. It's likely that Lilith has Sam with him or her for now," Bobby decided.

"You still got that demon finder thing?" Dean asked, remembering that Bobby had used it before to find Lilith.

"No. Sam must have taken it with him, knowing I'd be looking for them. And I don't know when or if we'll find another. We'll have to do it the old fashioned way," Bobby explained." And fast. The longer Sam is with them, well, it won't be good. Of course, in the mean time, we also have to find a loophole so you don't go straight back to hell if we can get Sam out of this mess," Bobby explained.

"I don't care about that," Dean reiterated.

"You don't, I know, but Sam does. And without his cooperation, we'll have nothing," Bobby answered. "We've got to outsmart the demon scum at their own game."

"Shouldn't be too hard," Dean said. "They are just demons after all."

"Never underestimate your enemy, Dean," Bobby advised. "You of all people know that that's a sure fire way to end up dead."

_Two months later…_

Dean slowed the Impala to a crawl as the large industrial building rose into view. It was at least ten miles from civilization and the area around it looked deserted. That was _until _they drove up to the building and stepped out of the car.

"You sure about this, Bobby?" Dean asked in reference to the older man's assurance that the demons will not hurt them.

"Ninety percent sure," Bobby answered as men and women with black eyes walked out of the building and surrounded them, each wielding a weapon of some sort from bats to knives. He and Dean both had weapons in their pockets, but did not yet draw them.

"Hiya!" Dean said with a big smile. "I'm-."

"Dead meat," one man that Dean guessed was about twenty five said as he stepped forward out of the makeshift circle, and began to smack his bat repeatedly against the macadam before raising it as if to strike the older Winchester brother.

Dean glanced at Bobby who merely shook his head, indicating for Dean to stay calm.

"Stop!" a man yelled from somewhere outside of the circle. "Hurt them and you will answer to the queen!"

The man looked behind him and quickly rejoined the others as they opened the circle up into two perfect lines, terrified looks on some of their faces. A moment later, a black haired middle aged man was visible walking toward them.

"Maxwell, Lilith's head goon," Bobby whispered to Dean. "Jackpot."

"Ah," the man said as he stepped up to the pair and the circle closed once again behind him. "The Protected Ones. What business have you _here_?"

"You know damn well what business. My brother. Sam. Where is he?" Dean demanded angrily.

The demon smiled.

"There is no one here that concerns you, human," Maxwell answered with a leering smile.

"Where…is…my…brother?" Dean seethed as he raised Ruby's knife at the man.

The man's smile left his face and he stepped back. Fear flashed in his eyes, but quickly vanished.

"Fine. I'll bring you to her majesty's newest employee," he answered before turning around. The circle opened once again and the two hunters followed the man inside the warehouse.

"Last door on the left. You have five minutes. No more," the man said as he stepped back to let the two pass down the long dark hallway. "Give me your flashlight. You may keep your knife. For now."

"I'll be happy to give him my knife, right in the middle of his chest," Dean muttered to Bobby.

After the two walked up to the closed door that Maxwell had identified, they momentarily paused outside of it. Dean was surprised to find that he was a bit worried about what he would find on the other side.

"I'll wait out here in case Chuckles decides to crash the reunion early. Five minutes. That's it. We might be protected, but there are rules," Bobby warned. "You got it?"

"Yeah," Dean said as he slowly pushed open the door and walked inside.

"Sam?" Dean called out.

The room was dimly lit, and he couldn't see much. His voice echoed, telling him the room was deceivingly large. It was also freezing. No answer. "

"Sammy!" Dean called out again, louder this time.

A moment later, Dean heard the sound of metal scrape against the floor. Chains. The bastards had his brother chained to the wall like an animal.

"Orientation is always a bitch, huh?" Sam finally answered from another part of the room.

"If I were you, I'd check with human resources," Dean managed to joke as he moved closer to his brother's voice. He wanted to play it cool until he knew what he was up against.

"What are you doing here, Dean?" Sam asked, suddenly standing next to his brother, his face still masked by the darkness. Dean jumped at his brother's sudden presence, but recovered quickly and smiled.

"You owe me a hug. A guy gets out of hell and can't even get a hug from his little brother?" Dean asked. "Jeez."

Sam sighed and let his brother wrap his arms around him. He did not reciprocate the gesture though. Dean could feel how tense Sam was, as well as the cold radiating off of his brother.

"Let me look at you," Dean said as he pulled his brother into the dim light that spilled out from the small window in the door, not even waiting for permission to do so. His brother's face was pale, making the dark bruises that marred the skin stand out even more, and the circles under his pain filled eyes dark. Still, Sam smiled for him as he pulled out of Dean's gentle grip.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean exclaimed furiously at his brother's state.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked again. "My deal with Lilith was my decision and I'm not sorry. What's done is done."

"What's done is done? That's never been a hard and fast rule for us Winchesters. It's more like what's done can be _undone_," Dean corrected him, trying very hard to stay calm.

"Leave," Sam demanded as he took more steps away from his brother, the chains scraping on the concrete floor with the movement.

"That's it? Goodbye and don't let the door hit me me in the ass on the way out?_"_ Dean asked in disbelief at his brother's response.

"You have to," Sam said, tears in his eyes. "_Please._ I'm trying so hard to keep it together._"_

"Sammy, at least give me something that we can use and Bobby and I will take care of the rest! It took us two months to find you. I don't know how long it will be until we find you again!" Dean said.

"_Find_ me? You really don't get it, do you?" Sam said with a laugh that was hollow of any amusement. "They wanted you to come! They_ let_ you find me! They wanted me to be reminded of why I am doing this," Sam explained. "But I haven't forgotten, not for one minute! It's what I hold on to when…when it gets bad."

Sam paused for a moment, instead appearing to be carefully studying his brother's face.

"You know, we don't look alike," Sam answered cryptically.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Dean asked, confused.

"You know as well as I do that demons tell the truth sometimes. Genetics are as clear as black and white," Sam responded.

"Sammy, please. You're not making any sense and we don't have much time," Dean pleaded as he took his brother's arm again.

Sam wrenched out of his brother's grasp and stepped back into the darkness.

"I need you to remember too," Sam said.

"Remember what?" Dean asked.

"Your promise that you made to dad and to me," Sam said as more metal scraped against the floor. "I'm trying hard, I really am, but if I can't fight it…and if I'm as powerful as they say…"

Dean's eyes widened as the realization of Sam's words hit him hard. Sam meant the promise that Dean had made to kill Sam if he couldn't save him.

"Don't you listen to them, Sammy! Don't you give in!" Dean exclaimed as he reached into the darkness for his brother but was met only with empty space. "Where are you! Don't do this! We CAN find a way to save you and keep me out of hell!"

"Time's up!" Bobby yelled as he rapped loudly on the door. "We have to get out of here now, Dean!"

Dean cursed and darted out of the room. No way was he giving up, no matter what his brother wanted. He never did do what he was told anyway.

**Thanks for being patient for this chapter, readers! Please review if you like. It is difficult to be a newlywed and find time to write, but I will do my best to update this, and my other stories, on a regular basis.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Then…_

"_You know, we don't look alike," Sam said cryptically._

"_What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Dean asked, confused._

"_You know as well as I do that demons tell the truth sometimes. Genetics are as clear as black and white," Sam responded._

"_Sam, please. You're not making any sense and we don't have much time," Dean pleaded as he took his brother's arm again._

_Sam wrenched out of his brother's grasp and stepped back into the darkness._

"_I need you to remember too," Sam said._

"_Remember what?" Dean asked._

"_Your promise that you made to dad and to me," Sam said as more metal scraped against the floor. "I'm trying hard, I really am, but if I can't fight it…and if I'm as powerful as they say…"_

_Dean's eyes widened as the realization of Sam's words hit him hard. Sam meant the promise that Dean had made to kill Sam if he couldn't save him._

"_Don't you listen to them, Sammy! Don't you give in!" Dean exclaimed as he reached into the darkness for his brother but was met only with empty space. "Where are you! Don't do this! We CAN find a way to save you and keep me out of hell!"_

Now…

**Chapter 3**

_One and a half months later…_

"What is _THIS_?" Dean yelled as he threw a manila envelope on top of the pile of old books from which Bobby had been researching at his kitchen table, failing in his attempt to stay calm.

"Looks like my mail, kid," Bobby said as he looked up at the young man.

"It's from Lawrence Memorial Hospital," Dean explained further, his heart pounding as he waited for Bobby to respond.

"From…oh," Bobby said as it dawned on him what the younger man was talking about.

"It's addressed to Dr. James Kildare who apparently requested information about mom as well as all of the births and deaths that happened on the day that Sam was born there. Dr. Kildare, Bobby? Are you kidding me with that name?" Dean explained angrily.

"Hey, you use rock legends for your aliases and I use actors from old t.v. shows. Nothin' wrong with that. I just can't believe they actually fell for it!" Bobby exclaimed. "Even with my skills for conning people, I didn't think that-."

"_You_ had NO right!" Dean yelled as the jabbed a finger toward the older man.

"First of all, _boy,_" Bobby said as he slowly rose from the table. "Get _your_ finger out of _my_ face before I shoot it off and then sit your ass down so I can explain!"

After a moment of studying Bobby's face and deciding that he may just make good on this threat, Dean plopped down into the chair across from him. He could feel himself shaking from the anger...or fear. Likely a mixture of both. This didn't usually happen to him. He rarely lost control…except where Sam was concerned.

"Now," Bobby said as he sat back down. "Just let me talk, okay?"

Dean reluctantly nodded and Bobby continued.

"When you told me what Sam said at the warehouse, about genetics and you two not looking alike? Well, it made me think. Demons do give up the truth sometimes, whether it's on purpose or by accident, especially when they think they're being clever. I'm sorry that you had to find out this way, that I contacted the hospital, but it had to be done so we could be sure. So, I'll ignore you opening up _my_ mail that was in _my_ mailbox at _my_ house where you have been sleeping and eating _my_ food for the past few months if you tell me what was in the damn envelope!" Bobby explained.

Dean sighed, the anger quickly melting into sadness at the thought of the mind blowing information that he read in that envelope.

"It can't be true, right?" Dean asked.

"Tell me what was in the envelope," Bobby repeated slowly.

"Records that confirmed that six babies were born there that day. Five of them girls-," Dean managed to get out.

"And the last one was a boy. To Mary?" Bobby asked hopefully.

"Yeah. But the records said…the records said that the baby boy died at birth!" Dean exclaimed.

"_What_?" Bobby asked in disbelief as he ripped the pages out of the envelope and began to read them for himself.

"Sam isn't my…my brother? Or at least not the one born there that day? Then who…who the hell is he and why would my parents lie to us about it?" Dean asked in rapid succession, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Look, just calm down, okay?" Bobby said as he looked up from the records that he had now spread out across the table. "Just shut your trap and give me some time to read through this."

Dean nodded as he ran a hand over his face that was uncharacteristically rough from days of not shaving. Hours or maybe just minutes later, Bobby looked up from one of the pages and held it out to the younger man.

"Look at this," Bobby instructed. "You just didn't read far enough."

Dean snatched the paper out of the older hunter's hands and scanned over it. One entry jumped out at him and he couldn't help but read it over and over again.

"…Baby Boy Winchester had been declared dead for two hours before unexplainably resuming normal breathing, heart rhythm, and reaction to stimuli…"

When he put it down, he saw Bobby looking at him, shaking his head.

"Well, it all makes sense now," Bobby said.

"What?" Dean asked, unable to make sense of _anything_ at the moment.

"Sam _is_ John and Mary's son and your brother, Dean, but someone made a deal to bring him back to life," Bobby concluded.

"Who?" Dean asked. "Dad?"

"Your father knew diddly squat about the supernatural when I first met him, except for what he saw Azazeal do to your mom. So, unless he was the best actor I've ever seen, and I can read people, it wasn't him," Bobby said.

"Then who? _Mom_?" Dean asked incredulously. "How would she know how to contact a demon?"

"I think it's more realistic that she didn't know. That maybe Azazeal or another demon was waiting for just this kind of opportunity. I mean who would be more desperate to make a deal than a grieving parent? Could be why she recognized Azazeal that night in Sam's nursery. Maybe he had come back to finish what he started the day Sam was born," Bobby offered.

"This is all kind of far-fetched, Bobby," Dean said. "All just guessing."

"I know. But at least we know the truth now," Bobby answered.

"And if the records said different?" Dean asked after a moment, another horrific thought dawning on him.

Bobby looked away, but his silence was enough of an answer for the younger man.

"Bobby, I want to thank you for everything that you've done, but I think I need to finish this on my own," Dean decided.

"_What?_ Now hold on!" Bobby exclaimed, his expression one of complete shock. "I said-."

"I know what you _said_, Bobby. But it's what I _didn't_ hear you say. Can you promise me that you won't try to kill Sam, no matter what?" Dean asked.

"You know I can't promise you that, Dean! It tears me up inside to say it, because you're both like sons to me, but we have to at least consider that what your dad warned you about may be true. That if we can't save Sam, we'll have to kill him. It's been weeks now and we don't know what they've been doing to him! We don't know what he's becoming!" Bobby exclaimed.

"No. NO! I don't accept that!" Dean yelled as he rushed out of the room and bounded up the stairs to collect his things.

"You can't do this on your own!" Bobby yelled up the staircase.

"Watch me," Dean though to himself as he shoved clothing and a few toiletries into his duffle bag.

After he rushed back down the steps, Dean stopped at the front door and turned back to glance back at Bobby who was watching him from the kitchen doorway.

"At least tell me what you're planning on doing," Bobby said.

"Go to the source. You're right that what we've been doing has taken too long," Dean answered.

"What, wrangle up some demons? They'll just lie to you!" Bobby insisted.

"Like you said, they tell the truth sometimes," Dean reminded him.

"Please, _son_," Bobby said. "Don't go, we can figure this out together-."

"When I get Sam back, you'll be the first person we'll visit," Dean promised.

After a moment, Bobby nodded. Both knew it may be the last time they saw each other alive. Without another word, Dean walked out, shutting the door behind him.

"Be careful, kid," Bobby muttered as he returned to his research at the kitchen table.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate all of your comments and will right another chapter soon. **


	4. Chapter 4

"_You can't do this on your own!" Bobby yelled up the staircase._

"_Watch me," Dean thought to himself as he shoved clothing and a few toiletries into his duffle bag._

_After he rushed back down the steps, Dean stopped at the front door and turned back to glance back at Bobby who was watching him from the kitchen doorway._

_"At least tell me what you're planning on doing," Bobby said._

_"Go to the source. You're right that what we've been doing has been taking too long," Dean answered._

_"What, wrangle up some demons? They'll just lie to you!" Bobby insisted._

_"Like you said, they tell the truth sometimes," Dean reminded him._

"_Dean," Bobby said. "Going out on your own is not the way to-."_

"_When I get Sam back, you'll be the first person we'll visit," Dean promised._

_After a moment, Bobby nodded. Both knew it may be the last time they saw each other alive. Without another word, Dean walked out, shutting the door behind him._

**Now…**

**Chapter 4**

_**Two and a Half Months Later…**_

Dean had been interrogating any and every demon he could find since he left Bobby's, desperate for any information to break Sam's deal with Lilith. Non-stop Dean did this, discovering early on that little sleep equaled minimal nightmares. Hell still had it's grip on him in his dreams and reality _was_ already nightmarish enough for Dean already.

It amazed him that Bobby still continued to call every single freaking day and always left a voicemail, even though Dean never answered or called him back. He didn't know what he would tell Bobby anyway. As many demons as Dean questioned, it was always ended the same. None would talk, all being too fearful of the consequences for betraying the powerful Lilith.

_Until_ tonight that is, Dean decided. Tonight this demon was cracking, no matter _what_ he had to do. Dean knew he was running out of time and options…

The demon screamed again, the holy water running down her face and hair to join the large puddle of it already collected on the floor. While her solid black eyes glared at Dean, she pulled and strained against the ropes that held her to the chair in the center of the devil's trap. Breathing heavy now, she spat in Dean's direction and growled.

"I can go all night, sugar," Dean promised with a smile as he leaned against a nearby support beam of the large deserted house and crossed his arms. "But that's all up to you."

"NOTHING _you_ can do to me is worse than what will happen to me if I talk!" the demon yelled, again straining against her ropes

"_Really_?" Dean asked calmly as he slowly pulled Ruby's demon killing knife out of its sheath from under his jacket. "You know what _this_ is?"'

"You don't scare me," the demon snarled, but with much less ferocity this time.

Dean smiled again, hearing the fear in her voice. She knew _exactly_ what this knife was capable of and was damned scared of it.

"You know what? Since I'm a nice guy…and I am, ask anyone,…I'm gonna cut you a break. You tell me what I want to know and I'll let you go," Dean offered as he began to inch closer to her with the knife.

The demon cowered back in her chair when he stopped to hold the knife inches from her neck.

"You're lying," the demon seethed. "You'll kill me whether I talk or not!"

"Maybe. Maybe not," Dean countered as he dragged the knife across her throat with enough pressure to draw blood.

"_Wait_!" the demon finally acquiesced.

"Tell me why Lilith wants Sam, where he is, and how to break the deal!" Dean ordered after he pulled the knife away from her throat.

"You mean how to break the deal so your brother goes free and you stay out of hell? I don't mind telling you _that_. It's quite delicious actually," she informed him before she began to cackle.

"Talk," Dean ordered as he again positioned the knife tip at her throat.

"You won't like it," she taunted in a sing song voice.

"HOW?" Dean yelled.

"If Lilith or any of her demons kills you, or anyone else deemed as 'protected' ones in the contract _unprovoked_, the deal is broken and you and your brother are in the clear," she answered after a dramatic pause.

Crap, Dean thought, although he still mentally filed away the information for later strategizing.

"Where is Sam?" Dean asked as he continued his questioning.

"Let me go, human!" she yelled, again pushing against her restraints.

"WHERE IS SAM?" Dean yelled as he held the knife against her chest.

The demon smiled.

"At the mouth of hell. But it doesn't really matter. You're too late to save him," she answered before she began to laugh. "Or anyone else."

In a lighting fast move, she shot out her hand and grabbed Dean's hand that held the knife, plunging it into her chest. The smile froze on her face as a fiery orange exploded from the wound before spreading to her eyes and wide open mouth. A moment later, the light went out and a pair of human green eyes stared at Dean for a split second before the woman slumped over lifelessly in her chair. Dean, breathing hard now from adrenaline, cut the ropes and eased the body to the floor.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly as he gently pushed the now dead female victim's eyes closed.

He slowly stood, the anger and sadness over the pointless death overwhelming him.

"DAMN IT!" Dean yelled as he picked up the empty chair and threw it against the wall, splitting it into pieces before it rained to the floor.

Now he knew why the demon cracked. She wanted him to know….because Lilith must have wanted him to know…that he was wasting his time. That he was already too late to help Sam…to help any of them.

_F that_, Dean thought. _It's not over 'til I'm dead._

_**Later that night…**_

For the past two hours now, Dean had been sitting alone at the dive bar, not surprised that his _'stay the hell away from me'_ demeanor had kept the stools on either side of him empty since he arrived. As he nursed his latest beer, he continued to think about how or even _if _he could use what he learned from the demon tonight to get them to break the contract. Maybe he could get one of the demons to kill him and then have Bobby revive him somehow? Would that count or did he have to _stay_ dead to save Sam while keeping his soul out of hell? Of course that was assuming Bobby _could_ bring him back to life again…

Deciding that too many thoughts were swarming in his head to make any sense out of it while at the bar, Dean pulled his wallet out of his pocket and tossed some bills on the counter to cover his tab. He grunted a thanks at the bartender who had blessedly had left him the hell alone too, only appearing when Dean needed a refill. After making his way through the dark and narrow aisles between the tables and chairs, Dean stepped outside into the cool night air and started the walk to the Impala which was parked at the curb a short distance away.

"Hey Dean," a woman said as she walked out of the shadows between the two buildings to Dean's left.

Dean jumped and had his gun in his hand in a flash.

"Easy, cowboy," the young red headed Caucasian woman said with a smile as he held up her hands in mock surrender.

Dean _wasn't_ smiling, however, as he kept his weapon pointed at the woman after deciding that he most definitely _didn't_ know her.

"Lady," Dean said. "_That_ kind of hello is a great way to earn an extra hole in your head."

"Oh, come on," the woman cooed. "Is that any way to treat an old friend? Well, an old friend of your _brother's_ anyway."

"My brother…Who the hell are you?" Dean yelled.

"Let me give you a hint. I used to be blonde," the woman said. "But I'm finding out that redheads have just as much fun as blondes. Maybe more. At least the _demon_ ones do."

"Ruby," Dean seethed.

"Bingo," Ruby confirmed, still looking comfortable despite Dean's visibly increasing agitation.

"Came back for your knife?" Dean asked as he quickly switched his gun for the small blade that he had tucked in the back of his waistband and charged at her, pinning her to the wall. "Because I'd be happy to oblige."

"I came back so we can help Sam! I know where he is and _why_ Lilith wanted him in the first place!" Ruby insisted as she pushed back at Dean.

Dean laughed and pressed the knife at her chest, glad that he had finally succeeded in wiping the smug smile off of her face.

"What do _you_ know and why the hell would you want to help me?" Dean asked disbelievingly as he let go of her a moment later and stepped back.

"A girl learns a thing or two on the road to hell and back AND to reiterate…I'm not helping _you_. I'm helping _Sam_," Ruby insisted as she straightened her jacket.

"That's something else I will never understand," Dean muttered.

"Doesn't matter if you understand or not! Our goal is still the same!" Ruby yelled.

"TRY to make me understand or the potential for _any_ kind of partnership between the two of us ends here!" Dean promised.

Ruby turned away from Dean, shaking her head. After a moment she turned back around to face him, and Dean was surprised to see tears in her eyes. He knew she was capable of anger, deceit, and sarcasm, but sadness? Or was this tearful display just another trick?

"Fine. I'll start by saying that your brother and I…we are really not that different-," Ruby began.

"My brother is NOTHING like you, _demon_!" Dean protested.

"Let me finish!" Ruby yelled as a tear slipped down her cheek.

Dean crossed his arms and closed his mouth, thinking that if nothing else, her explanation might offer him some amusement before they went their separate ways.

"I told you once that I remembered what it was like to be human. I like thinking about those years, as _hard_ as it is, because I will _never_ be human again. What happened to me, becoming this…demon…evil…I know I did it to myself, but I did _not _understand at the time what I was getting myself into," Ruby said before wiping away the tears and continuing.

"And Sam? Since he was six months old, because of a deal that your mother made that _she_ didn't understand…_he_ was supposed to be evil too…destined for that path as surely as I. Neither of us want what destiny or uninformed choices have pushed upon us!" Ruby implored. "Look, I don't need you to like me, but if you don't let me help…if you don't at _least_ hear me out about Lilith's plans for Sam…you won't get him back AND life as you and all other humans know it will be over forever!"

Dean studied her face and after a moment of decision, Dean finally put the knife away. He didn't know if he was going crazy or not, but he believed her and at this point, he knew he needed all the help he could get. Even if help came in the form of a demon that he didn't fully trust.

"You screw me or Sam and I will make you sorry over AND over again before I kill you. You understand?" Dean asked.

Ruby nodded and without another word, Dean began to walk to the Impala, aware that Ruby was following a few steps behind.

_**Twenty minutes later…**_

After Dean poured himself a cup of black coffee, he motioned for Ruby to join him at the small table in his motel room.

"Talk," Dean ordered, knowing that she neither needed nor expected pleasantries from him.

"That's probably the _only_ thing I like about you, Dean, you don't beat around the bush," Ruby remarked before her tone turned serious. "As long as I've been a demon, I've heard a lot of talk about Lucifer's return from hell and rise to power over all. Over and over I would hear one prophecy in particular being cited as explanation of how this would happen. It says, '_When all light shall be extinguished on Earth, Lucifer will rise to illuminate the darkness in emblazoned glory though a door unlocked only by the chosen one, who at six months from birth was blessed with the red elixir of Lucifer's soul._' And the more I've been thinking about it, the more it fits. Sam IS the key. Sam IS the chosen one."

Dean felt as if he had been punched in the gut and as much as he had wanted to dismiss her and her theory, he knew Ruby was probably right. He had been thinking that the demons had a lofty purpose for his little brother for years now, even before hearing this prophecy possibly confirm it. Dean couldn't help but wonder if his dad had figured this out as well as he had made Dean promise that if he couldn't safe Sam he'd have to kill him.

"The demon blood that old yellow eyes dripped into Sam's mouth when he was six months old is the elixir of Lucifer's soul?" Dean asked as he continued to think out loud. "And the darkness that is to be coming?"

"Might be the solar eclipse that is supposed to happen in four days on this sixth month of the year, on the sixth day of the month, at six o'clock," Ruby explained.

"You demons don't let up with the 666 crap, huh?" Dean asked. "And Lilith wants Sam to open some kind of door for Lucifer?"

"That's not all," Ruby said. "I didn't finish. The rest of the prophecy states, '_The chosen one must then willingly and fully give himself to his King or Lucifer will remain exiled in hell forever. Once achieved, no man, angel, or demon shall separate them without the penalty of death and subsequent eternal damnation. All will serve the Light Bringer without question or too will suffer his wrath.'"_

"Light Bringer…oh yeah, that's the Latin translation for Lucifer. And the rest of it…Sam is supposed to become what…like his second in command?" Dean asked impatiently.

"Pretty house, but nobody's home," Ruby mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Dean said, only catching part of what he was sure was an insult of his intelligence.

"_Not _Lucifer's second in command, Dean," Ruby explained with a roll of her eyes as if she was about to say the most obvious thing in the world. "His _meat suit_."

Dean froze before adrenaline kick started him back into motion. He stood up quickly and after grabbing his duffel back off of the floor, paused only long enough to say, "Get in the car. You're taking me to Sam. _Now_."

"But we need a plan first!" Ruby protested. "We can't just charge in there and-."

"Do what I say _when_ I say. _That's_ the plan, got it?"Dean angrily informed her as he paused in the doorway only long enough to say, "If you don't like that, then just tell me where Sam is and stay here."

Ruby blew air through clenched teeth, but did as Dean ordered and followed him out of the room.

_**Midnight Three days later…**_

Driving practically non-stop and breaking the speed limit more often than not during the trip, Dean and Ruby finally reached the vast grounds of the large and long abandoned church where Ruby heard that Lilith and her group of demons were keeping Sam and preparing for Lucifer's arrival. Dean parked the car behind a line of trees on the left perimeter with that hope that it would block it from being easily spotted from the main building. Both sat silently for a moment before Ruby turned to Dean.

"You going to let me in on the plan yet?" Ruby asked.

"It should be obvious. Plan A is we find Sam, he tells us where Lilith is, and I kill her with your knife. You and I both agreed that with her dead, the contract will be broken. Plan B, courtesy of another demon, is that you kill me, which will also break the contract so Sam goes free and at least my soul will stay out of hell. See? It's good that you're a demon after all. But remember, that's Plan _B_, I'd like to stay alive if at all possible, you understand. I'm going to go and find Sam then I'll be back for you," Dean said as he made a motion to get out of the car.

Ruby grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Wait. There's one other option we must consider. If they have Sam brainwashed, killing Lilith or even you may still not be enough to stop Sam from opening the door for Lucifer and joining with him," Ruby said.

"What are you saying?" Dean answered quickly, although he was sure he knew exactly what her answer would be.

"Sam may willingly do just that, whether there is still a deal or not. And in that case-," Ruby said quietly.

Dean clenched his jaw muscles and sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Shut your mouth," Dean said through clenched teeth before getting out of the car without any further protest from Ruby. When she too stepped out, Dean hissed, "Get… back…in…the…car."

"You remember anything about hell, Dean?" Ruby asked.

Separate from the nightmares that he never remembered after he woke up, he blessedly didn't.

"No," he admitted.

"Well, I do," Ruby said as she shuddered, tears in her eyes again. "And as much as I identify with Sam and as much as I know you love him, you _don't_ want hell coming to Earth with Lucifer."

"_No one_ is killing my brother. My rules, remember?" Dean reminded her before shutting the car door.

Dean began to walk away from the car, his knife out in front of him in one hand and a flashlight in the other.

"Dean," a monotone voice suddenly sounded from behind him about ten minutes later.

Dean jumped and slowly turned to his left. It was Sam! No need to wonder any more how he would find Sam on this huge property, but Dean's elation was short lived. Sam looked…he looked like a _ghost _of his former self. He was deathly pale, impossibly thin, and his eyes…his blue green eyes that used to flash with hope and promise, looked empty and rimmed with dark smudges of sleeplessness and pain. Old and new bruises were still visible on his face and arms as well.

"Sam," Dean began as he gently grabbed his brother's shoulder, doing his best not to get visibly upset at his brother's appearance. "I've never stopped looking for you and I'm so, so sorry that-."

"Just…just do what you came to do and then get the hell out of here! I owe you that much and I already know that you love me and you're sorry," Sam said dismissively as he pulled out of his brother's grasp.

"Do what? The only thing I'm here to do is to rescue you!" Dean insisted. "Ruby's here too and I just need you to tell me where Lilith is so we can kill her and end all of this!"

"_Kill _Lilith? There is no way to kill her and you'll just die trying." Sam shook his head before continuing. "I should have known that you couldn't bring yourself to kill me, even with all that you know. But that's okay, Dean. I'm strong enough now for the both of us and after tomorrow I'll be able to protect you forever. You and Bobby and Ellen and Jo and…and anyone else who _I_ say is worthy," Sam answered as he wrapped his arms around his stomach, tears in his eyes now.

"_What?_ You _want_ to join with Lucifer?" Dean managed to ask despite the shock of his brother's words.

"It's time that we, the Winchesters, sit at the top of the food chain instead of ripping off credit cards and squatting in condemned houses while barely getting by! Besides, there are _plenty_ of humans that deserve anything AND everything that Lucifer has in store for them!" Sam insisted before his face took on an expression that Dean had never seen on his brother's face before. _Never _thought he'd see.

With a shock, Dean put a name to the expression. _Hate_.

"Sammy, what have they done to you? You don't know what you're saying!" Dean implored.

"Yes I do! When I join with Lucifer, I _will_ make every single ungrateful…undeserving…and lazy person that I come across feel what you and I have felt while risking our lives to keep them safe from things they didn't even know existed! The pain…the suffering…the sacrifice…And when they beg for mercy, I will NOT give it!" Sam yelled angrily, tears in his eyes.

"You and I always thought it was worth it to keep people safe! So did dad! What the hell are you talking about?" Dean said.

"WE WERE WRONG! We lost everything to protect _other_ people while those we loved died! For what?!" Sam yelled.

"No, Sam, No! This crap you're spewing is all because of the demons brainwashing you!" Dean implored, still feeling quite blindsided at Sam's drastic change of view. "It IS worth it to fight against all that is evil! Always has been and always will be! You know you can't trust demons or anything they tell you! It will all be okay after we kill Lilith and I get you away from here-."

"I_ don't_ trust the demons, Dean, but if you can't beat them, join them. I want to be on the winning side for a change," Sam decided as tears slipped down his cheeks. "I'm tired of running. I'm tired of you having a bulls eye on your back because of me. _This_ is how I can protect you forever."

"No, Sam, _no_. _Please_," Dean said with tears in his eyes, aware he was begging now.

"Someday you'll understand," Sam promised before Dean's flashlight flickered and went out.

Dean tapped his flashlight quickly. He wasn't surprised that when it came back on, Sam was gone.

**Thanks for patiently waiting for this chapter and for reviewing. This chapter kicked my but and took forever to get right! Stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Then…**_

"_What? You want to join with Lucifer?" Dean managed to ask despite the shock of his brother's words._

"_It's time that we, the Winchesters, sit at the top of the food chain instead of ripping off credit cards and squatting in condemned houses while barely getting by! Besides, there are plenty of humans that deserve anything AND everything that Lucifer has in store for them!" Sam insisted before his face took on an expression that Dean had never seen on his brother's face before. Never thought he'd see._

_With a shock, Dean put a name to the expression. Hate._

"_Sammy, what have they done to you? You don't know what you're saying!" Dean implored._

"_Yes I do! When I join with Lucifer, I will make every single ungrateful…undeserving…and lazy person that I come across feel what you and I have felt while risking our lives to keep them safe from things they didn't even know existed! The pain…the suffering…the sacrifice…And when they beg for mercy, I will NOT give it!" Sam yelled angrily, tears in his eyes._

"_You and I always thought it was worth it to keep people safe! So did dad! What the hell are you talking about?" Dean said._

"_WE WERE WRONG! We lost everything to protect other people while those we loved died! For what?!" Sam yelled._

"_No, Sam, No! This crap you're spewing is all because of the demons brainwashing you!" Dean implored, still feeling quite blindsided at Sam's drastic change of view. "It IS worth it to fight against all that is evil! Always has been and always will be! You know you can't trust demons or anything they tell you! It will all be okay after we kill Lilith and I get you away from here-."_

"_I don't trust the demons, Dean, but if you can't beat them, join them. I want to be on the winning side for a change," Sam decided as tears slipped down his cheeks. "I'm tired of running. I'm tired of you having a bulls eye on your back because of me. This is how I can protect you forever."_

"_No, Sam, no. Please," Dean said with tears in his eyes, aware he was begging now._

"_Someday you'll understand," Sam promised before Dean's flashlight flickered and went out._

_Dean tapped his flashlight quickly. He wasn't surprised that when it came back on, Sam was gone._

**Now…**

**Chapter 5**

Dean resisted the unbearable urge to yell for Sam or run after him because he knew his brother was probably long gone. Instead he slowly walked back to the Impala, shock still providing him with a numbing buffer between him and what had just happened. As Dean neared the car, he saw Ruby leaning up against the hood.

"What happened?" Ruby asked anxiously.

The buffer didn't last long and reality suddenly busted into him like a rocket.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Dean yelled as he smashed his Maglight flashlight through the driver's side window. "Why the hell didn't you come find me sooner, Ruby?! Maybe then we could have gotten to Sam in time!"

"Sor-_ry_!" Ruby yelled back with angry sarcasm. "Lilith sent me to hell before she hijacked my meat suit and sent you there! _I _didn't have a brother to make a deal for me AND it's not like they have a bus leaving hell every ten minutes! Just be thankful that I made it out at all to hunt down your pathetic ass! Now what happened?"

"It's over! It's f-ing over! That's what happened!" Dean yelled as he began to repeatedly bash the hood of the car with all his might. He remembered doing the same thing when he lost his dad so it only seemed fitting to do it again now. Unfortunately, just as before, it did nothing to relieve his crushing grief and guilt.

"Stop!" Ruby yelled as she pulled at Dean's hand that held the Maglight. "STOP!"

Dean wrenched out of her grasp and smashed her in the face with the flashlight, knocking her to the ground.

"GET AWAY FROM ME, DEMON! " Dean yelled before he coiled his arm back to hit her again.

Ruby didn't wait around to be an easy target again and rolled away from Dean just in time for him to strike the ground instead.

"STOP!" Ruby yelled again as she dodged another strike and lifted Dean up by a handful of his jacket and shoved him so hard against the car hood that it dented. The Maglight fell out of his hand and Dean slid to the ground, breathless.

"This is NO time to lose it," Ruby yelled as she wiped blood from a cut on her face. "You got that?! Now tell me what the hell happened already!"

Dean looked up at her dark shape, only partially visible in the moonlight and felt the tears start to come.

"Sam's turned. Told mehe now_ wants_ to bring Lucifer here and join with him," Dean admitted quietly as he wiped away a few tears. "I'm such an idiot! I lost all perspective because it was Sam. It was my job to protect him and I failed. I just..I just didn't want to accept that."

Ruby sighed and stood next to Dean for a moment in silence before speaking.

"This seems like a good time to tell you that I lied to you before," Ruby began.

"Are you kidding me?!" Dean mumbled as he wiped the last of the tears away. "What now?"

"Can I finish?" Ruby responded angrily.

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but instead nodded his head yes.

"I lied to you before when I said that you're getting down to business was the only thing that I liked about you. I also like your hope. Envy it even. I can't remember if I had anything close to that when I was human, but I doubt it. You…you're hope… _that's_ the reason Sam has gotten even _this_ far, despite being tagged by Azazeal at six months. I do remember that I didn't have anyone in my life like you…who believed in me so strongly...and that's why I became what I am now. You can't give up on Sam now or he really _is_ gone forever," Ruby said.

Dean looked up at her, amazed at what he was hearing coming out of her mouth. A _demon's_ mouth.

"Hey, if a hunter and a demon can do the impossible and work together, why can't a little thing like the apocalypse be averted? " Ruby asked as she reached down her hand out to him.

A moment later, Dean took it and she pulled him up with no apparent effort.

"This hallmark moment does _not_ make us friends," Dean informed her. "But…thanks."

"Don't mention it, please, _don't_ mention it," Ruby said.

Dean walked around his car and surveyed the damage.

"Thanks to my temporary freak out, I'm going to have to log in some serious hours at Bobby's shop AND we've lost the element of surprise," Dean observed.

"Trust me. The demons have known _exactly _where you were every second of every day since Sam made the deal," Ruby assured him. "Will you finally cut the suspense and tell me what happened?"

Dean nodded and relayed his short reunion with Sam.

"Wow," Ruby commented. "Talk about revenge of the body snatchers. Was there a demon with him?"

"No. Why?" Dean asked.

"Never mind," Ruby said dismissively. "So what now?"

"You're tuned into the demon wave length. What would you expect us to do so we can do the opposite and make up for lost ground?" Dean asked.

"I'd expect us to run now that we know we have no ally in Sam. Of course I wouldn't have expected us to come here in the first place," Ruby answered. "So…if we want to continue on this apparently suicidal path, we take on all of them until we can get to Lilith."

"You can bail you know," Dean reminded her. "You've already stuck your neck out more than I ever imagined a demon would."

"I'm not going anywhere…but quit with lumping me in with what other demons would do, okay?" Ruby asked.

"You got it," Dean agreed. "So you've told me that this is a pretty huge property. Finding Lilith is going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack, and that's assuming she's even here."

"You can bet your ass she's here. It's too close to go time for her to let Sam out of her sight for very long. And that being true, I can find her no matter where she is on the property," Ruby assured him.

"How?" Dean asked skeptically.

"You humans identify yourselves by outward appearance. Obviously, demons don't because we can change _who_ we are wearing as often as we like. So we get a feeling," she explained.

"Come again?" Dean asked in confusion.

"I'm not sure how to explain it exactly, but it's like…it's like if another demon is close, I can feel it. The stronger the feeling, the stronger the demon. Lets me know if I'm in occupied territory and if I have any chance of taking from him or her what I want," Ruby explained.

"So this spidey sense of yours," Dean began. "It's probably going crazy right now."

"Yup," Ruby confirmed. "I'd guess there are about twenty demons here, give or take. But we're not close enough yet for me to tell which one is Lilith. The feeling I get from a demon as strong as her is absolutely off the charts."

"Wait," Dean said as a horrible realization dawned on him. "When you asked me before if there was a demon with Sam, you felt something didn't you?"

Ruby sighed.

"Yes," she confirmed quietly.

Dean clenched his jaw muscles and willed himself not to lose it again.

"My God," he said quietly. "Is he even human anymore?"

"It was very faint, though, _nothing_ at all like I feel with a full blood demon. He's still very much Sam. This only means that, and don't try and hit me again for saying this, killing your brother has to stay on the table, but it's the last course. We're going to methodically search the property, but first you have to give me back my knife," Ruby said as she held out her hand.

"_What?_ Why?" Dean asked.

"Because when we come across a demon or demons…by you merely _carrying_ that thing, they will see it as provocation. And as per the deal, you know that they can kill you on the spot," Ruby reminded him.

"So I go in there unprotected?" Dean asked.

"No, the _deal_ is protecting you, remember? They can't touch you unless you make a move," Ruby explained. "I'll take the heat until we find Sam and Lilith. Then you get him out while I kill her."

"I don't like it," Dean admitted.

"Why?! Because I'm a demon and you don't trust me? Look, unless you're hiding a posse in your trunk, you need me and you know it!" Ruby yelled. "There is NO other way to get this knife even near her!"

"Fine," Dean agreed as he pulled out her knife, looked at it for a moment, and handed it over.

Ruby smiled.

"Finally time for me to raise a little hell of my own! I missed you, baby!" she said as she kissed her knife.

"And people told me my love for _my_ baby was over the top," Dean muttered, as he looked back at his car."Sorry to interupt your make out session, but what if they take you out or using the knife can't kill Lilith?"

"Hope, Dean," Ruby reminded him as she began to run. "Hope!"

Dean nodded and with a clench of his jaw muscles dashed after her.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. You won't want to miss the next exciting chapter when it all goes down!**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Then…**_

"_My God," he said quietly. "Is he even human anymore?"_

"_It was very faint, though, nothing at all like I feel with a full blood demon. He's still very much Sam. This only means that, and don't try and hit me again for saying this, killing your brother has to stay on the table, but it's the last course. We're going to methodically search the property, but first you have to give me back my knife," Ruby said as she held out her hand._

"_What? Why?" Dean asked._

"_Because when we come across a demon or demons…by you merely carrying that thing, they will see it as provocation. And as per the deal, you know that they can kill you on the spot," Ruby reminded him._

"_So I go in there unprotected?" Dean asked._

"_No, the deal is protecting you, remember? They can't touch you unless you make a move," Ruby explained. "I'll take the heat until we find Sam and Lilith. Then you get him out while I kill her."_

"_I don't like it," Dean admitted._

"_Why?! Because I'm a demon and you don't trust me? Look, unless you're hiding a posse in your trunk, you need me and you know it!" Ruby yelled. "There is NO other way to get this knife even near her!"_

"_Fine," Dean agreed as he pulled out her knife, looked at it for a moment, and handed it over._

_Ruby smiled._

_"Finally time for me to raise a little hell of my own! I missed you, baby!" she said as she kissed her knife._

"_And people told me my love for my baby was over the top," Dean muttered, as he looked back at his damaged car. "Sorry to interrupt your make out session, but what if they take you out or using the knife can't kill Lilith?"_

"_Hope, Dean," Ruby reminded him as she began to run. "Hope!"_

_Dean nodded and with a clench of his jaw muscles dashed after her._

**Now…**

**Chapter 6**

They did not get far before Ruby stopped so suddenly that Dean almost barreled into her.

"What?" Dean hissed in a loud whisper.

"The welcome party has arrived," she explained. "Hang back."

"_Sooooo _very nice of you to come out and play, Ruby," a male voice cooed from just outside the sweep of Dean's flashlight. "We haven't seen you in a while."

Dean tensed when in an instant six demons, two female and one male, with solid black eyes stepped into the light, surrounding them.

"Leave the male untouched," the same male voice warned.

Dean then recognized him as one of the demons he saw at Lilith's warehouse months ago.

"I would leave me untouched as well, unless you want to end up dead," Ruby said as she waved the demon killing knife in front of her as she slowly rotated to keep her eye on all of the demons.

The demons stepped back a few paces, but did not break their circle around the pair.

"Why not just give up or better yet… join us?" the demon recommended. "Even if you _do_ succeed in taking _some_ of us out, you can't kill us all before we overpower you!"

"Then I'll kill as many of you as I can before that happens!" Ruby yelled before jamming the knife into the male demon with lighting speed before wrenching it out and slicing the throats of two others before the first even hit the ground. They all glowed for a moment from their wounds, convulsed, and then were still. "Who's next?" Dean heard Ruby ask as he looked down at the now dead human hosts. The remaining three demons, two females and one male, hissed and spat curses at her before dashing away.

"That was easy," Dean muttered.

"They'll only be gone only for a moment to get reinforcements. We have to keep moving," Ruby instructed as she again began to run.

Dean followed behind with one last look at the poor saps who lay dead on the ground. How many would have to die before this was over? Do the ends _always_ justify the means?

Fifteen minutes later they were finally close to the main building on the property, the large abandoned church. Ruby held out her arm to slow Dean who was breathing very heavy by now, their pace flat out running that entire time. With annoyance, he noticed Ruby wasn't even winded.

"Lilith's in there somewhere," Ruby informed him. "I can feel it."

"Can you feel any other demons? Or Sam?" Dean asked.

"Yes. There are other demons inside as is Sam," Ruby confirmed.

"Why didn't any other demons try to stop us?" Dean asked suspiciously.

"Don't know," Ruby confessed. "Let's go inside."

As they slowly made their way onto the path that lead to the large wooden front door, Ruby again motioned for Dean to stay behind her. She placed her hand on the rusted metal doorknob and turned it before pushing on the door. The door opened with a groan to reveal more darkness. Dean shined his flashlight inside to reveal a very large room with rows of rotting and dilapidated pews facing the front where a large stained glass window was busted out. As he and Ruby explored the room, Dean realized that the dirt on the wall underneath the broken out window made a very distinctive shape of a cross. It was long gone as well.

"Now what?" Dean asked Ruby who had been somewhere behind and to the left of him.

No answer.

"Hey! This is not time for hide and seek!" Dean yelled before sweeping the area where he last saw her with his flashlight.

Nothing.

"Crap," Dean muttered.

"Lonely already?" a female voice that was definitely _not _Ruby asked. "Get used to it because you're ALL alone now."

Dean turned in the direction of the voice and jumped when a black eyed woman was suddenly standing only a foot away from him.

"Where is Ruby?" Dean asked.

"Your gal pal? She paid her debt and went to grovel at Lilith's feet. Just like a good little demon," the woman explained.

"What?" Dean asked in confusion.

"Her debt. Oh, guess she left out that part for you. You think she was smart enough to get out of hell on her own? Think again. Lilith saved her. Just like Lilith saved all of us. And in return, Ruby was to get you here unharmed," the demon answered.

Dean shook his head. He almost didn't believe it. Ruby had seemed so sincere….so heartfelt. Dean knew his love for Sam had cost him his perspective once again. He never should have trusted her.

"Why?" Dean seethed.

"Can't have you trying to kill Lilith or Sammy boy before the clock strikes six. Both would put a kibosh on Lucifer's arrival, now wouldn't it?" she replied with a devious smile. "Now, are you going to come with me quietly or make me hurt you?"

Dean stared at her for a moment, quickly running through his options. He didn't see any at the moment and decided to bide his time for now.

"My vote is that you_ don't_ come quietly," she whispered with another gleeful smile as she cracked her knuckles.

"Lead the way," Dean surrendered, knowing that being unarmed he was in no position to fight a demon.

She sighed in disappointment before turning to lead him down the main aisle and then to a door on the right. After opening it, Dean followed her down a staircase to the basement level. Dean passed demon after demon in the hallway, all who laughed or mocked him when he did. Dean still didn't want to accept that it might finally was over and ignored them, staring straight ahead. Finally she stopped at the last door on the right.

"Here we are. The bridal suite. Enjoy," the demon said before shoving him inside and locking the door.

Dean listened to her laugh as she walked away, and then heard nothing but silence. It only took him a minute to walk around the small dirty room void of even a chair to sit on. The room was void of any lights and only a little moonlight spilled in from two high narrow windows.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled as he punched the dirty cinderblock wall.

The hours passed slowly, Dean having nothing else to do but watch the night sky brighten with the morning sun. He was usually never up to enjoy the sunrise, and it really was beautiful. It seemed fitting, as if the earth decided to give one last glorious show before the curtain on anything good closed forever with Lucifer's arrival.

More hours ticked by slowly, uninterrupted except for a demon he never saw before brought him some food that he didn't eat. No bathroom break. Guess they expected him to use the bowl in the corner.

Around 5:30, the door to Dean's prison opened again and in walked a figure robed in white. The figure slowly pulled back the hood to reveal the face. It was Ruby!

"You back stabbing BITCH!" Dean yelled, doing all that he could not to charge at her and wring her neck. He hoped to get some information about Sam first.

"Oh, please," Ruby spat back. "It's not my fault you actually _believed_ the crap I was saying, hook, line, _and_ sinker."

"What do you want, _demon_?" Dean hissed. "Come to gloat?"

"No, unfortunately, there is no time for that now. Your presence at the welcoming ceremony has been requested by Lilith," Ruby answered as she threw a white robe at him.

Dean looked at it but made no move for it.

"Put it on or I will MAKE you put it on," Ruby said slowly as she held up her hand in warning.

Dean's jaw clenched, but he decided to do as she asked. Sam would be at the ceremony. Maybe he would get one last chance to convince Sam not to go through with this after all. He pulled the robe on over his head and walked through the door that Ruby held open for him. This time, the hallway was empty and silent. Deserted. Guess they were going to be the last ones to the party.

Ruby led Dean up the steps, out of the church and down an almost overgrown path that led them through the woods to an even larger church building that was obviously much older than the other building he had been in.

"What is this place?" Dean asked.

"Shut it," Ruby said as she walked up to a pair of red double doors that were flanked by two robed men in white as well.

"Oooh look, we all match," Dean said sarcastically. "Are we all going to one of P. Diddy's famous white parties?"

"So help me I _will_ rip out your tongue," Ruby warned without even looking at him, obviously unamused.

Dean nodded as the pair opened the doors for them, deciding that he liked his tongue in his mouth.

Dean's eyes widened at the scene in front of them. This church had been emptied of all pews, and rows of demons, all indistinguishable in matching white robes with hoods over their heads, stood facing the front of the church where a group of robed individuals stood around a pedestal that held a large stone bowl with a half circle of lit candles surrounding it. One of the white figures towered over the others. Sam! It had to be! Dean kept his excitement in check as Ruby led him down the center of the rows of demons that parted for her without even looking back. Dean glanced around at large beautiful stained glass windows high on the walls of either side of the church that cast a kaleidoscope of colors on the figures. He returned his eyes to Ruby's back, mentally imagining what he would do to her if he lived through this and was able to get her alone.

After they joined the small group, Ruby silently took her place at the end of the left side of the group. With a strong grip, she pulled Dean to stand next to her. It was deafeningly quiet and Dean wondered what the hell he was supposed to do next. He just hoped that Lilith hadn't requested his presence as a sacrifice. No, he decided with relief, remembering he was still protected by Sam's deal with Lilith.

"Dean," a female voice cooed. "So happy to see you again."

"Lilith," Dean hissed, his voice dripping with anger and hatred. "Can't say I feel the same."

"Oh well, guess it's because you prefer red heads now," Lilith said as she looked at Ruby and smiled.

Dean shook his head and glanced at Sam, whose head was still down, obscured by the robe's hood.

"I promise no matter what happens, I will track both of you down and kill you right after I take down Lucifer," Dean said.

Lilith and Ruby laughed.

"Oh, you are just _so_ darling," Lilith said as the sunlight spilling into the church through the large windows began to dim. "But it's time for the demons to work now."

With a jolt, Dean realized that the eclipse was happening and the apocalypse would not be far behind.

"Sam!" Dean yelled as he rushed at the figure and pushed down the hood. Sam did not even look at him as he pulled his hood back up.

"Sam! Snap out of it! Don't do this!" Dean yelled.

Hands pulled Dean back and held his arm so tightly that it hurt. It was Ruby.

"Get off of me, traitor!" Dean yelled at her.

"Your actions are useless," Ruby whispered directly into his ear as she pulled him back into place once again. "The ceremony is starting."

Dean pulled against her, but could not break free. He didn't know what he would do or where he would go anyway. He had failed.

Lilith began to chant in Latin as she took her place in front of the large metal bowl. She held out her hand and Ruby reached out with her demon killing knife and cut Lilith's arm. Ruby put her hands and her knife back into the billowing sleeves of her robe as Lilith dripped her blood into the bowl. Lilith swirled the blood with her finger before motioning to her left. Dean watched as Sam walked over to her. Lilith lowered her hood and drew a symbol on Sam's head with her blood. Dean didn't recognize the symbol. He strained against Ruby, but could not get free. Dean felt tears fill his eyes.

"Now," Lilith said with a smile as the church completely darkened.

Dean could see nothing past the small dim light of the candles. "As dictated by the prophecy, you must willingly and voluntarily accept Lucifer, our King, in order for his rebirth to come to pass. Therefore, I hereby release you from our deal to serve me so you may do so. Do you understand?"

Sam nodded, his eyes fixed in a stare on Lilith. Dean wished Sam would at least look at him one more time.

"Do you willingly and voluntary accept Lucifer into you and grant his passage back to us?" Lilith asked in a way that Dean could tell was merely a formality, part of the ritual. No one expected anything other than yes. The church was deathly silent as all waited for Sam's answer.

"No," Sam said softly.

A common gasp, Dean included, resonated throughout the church.

"_What_?" Lilith and Dean asked in collective disbelief.

"I said _no_," Sam repeated. "I will NOT let Lucifer pass. And since you had to let me out of our deal, you have no more claims on me or Dean."

Lilith screamed in anger, a sound so piercing that Dean had to cover his ears. Next she flung out her hand and Sam flew off the stage and down the aisle, before he stopped in a heap half way down. The other demons began to stream out of the church, order quickly deteriorating into chaos. Dean could no longer see Sam, but quickly discovered he had other things to worry about.

"You," Lilith said as she jabbed her finger at Dean. "You!"

"So, does this mean the party's over?" Dean asked as he pulled again in vain against Ruby's iron grip.

"For you? Definitely!" Lilith said as she raised her hand at him and white light flooded Dean's vision. Intense pain suddenly engulfed him and he was vaguely aware of Ruby letting go of him and letting him fall to the floor.

However, a moment later, Dean heard a blood curdling scream and the light and the pain instantly disappeared. A couple of minutes later, when the pain dissipated enough and he felt could stand, Dean slowly got to his feet. His eyes widened at the scene in front of him. Lilith lay on the ground, her dead eyes wide and Ruby's knife sticking out of her chest. Dean's eyes glanced over at Ruby who was breathing hard. After she wiped the bloody knife onto her pants, she handed it to Dean. Cautiously he took it, still not sure if he may have to fight her with it.

"It's done," Ruby said as she half walked half stumbled off of the stage and down the aisle. "It's over."

"Wait! What the hell just happened?" Dean asked.

"I killed Lilith. Sam beating her at her own game and keeping Lucifer trapped in hell was an added bonus. Must I spell everything out to you? She was only vulnerable to this knife when using her power," Ruby explained as she turned back to look at him. "You know that she gave me that special knife? Right after she ripped me out of hell? I was supposed to use it on other demons to convince you that I could be trusted, believed in your cause, before using it a final time at this ritual."

"Why? Why would you save me?" Dean said as he walked off the stage.

"Look, I used you to get to her when she thought she was using me to get to you," Ruby explained. "No one uses me. This has nothing to do saving you."

"Ruby-," Dean began, instantly regretting all of his thoughts and words. He knew there was more to what she was saying. He knew she had meant everything she had said to him before they got here.

"Don't," Ruby said with tears in her eyes before she walked past Sam and down the rest of the aisle. "You and Lilith both should know by now that you can never trust a demon."

Dean stood in shock at what had just happened before snapping himself out of it and rushing over to Sam.

"Sammy? Hey, you okay?" Dean asked as he kneeled down and pulled his brother into him.

Sam stirred and his eyes fluttered open.

"What happened?" Sam croaked.

"You did it. You did it! Lucifer remains in hell. Lilith's dead too," Dean explained. "Are you okay?"

"Lilith's dead?" Sam asked quietly as he let Dean help him to his feet.

"See for yourself," Dean said as he pointed up at the stage. "Ruby killed her with the demon killing knife."

"Oh," Sam said, still appearing to be in shock himself.

"Let's get out of here and we both can swap stories later, okay?" Dean asked as he and Sam rushed out of the church. Dean held out the knife the entire time, hoping the demons would remain too engrossed in the chaos to try and stop them.

Sam and Dean didn't stop running until they reached the Impala.

"Dude, they trashed your car?" Sam asked in awe as he viewed the damage.

"Yeah, bad, right?" Dean asked as he and Sam climbed into the car, deciding not to confide in Sam about his momentary freak out.

"Feels strange to be sitting in here again," Sam commented as Dean made a K turn and high tailed it away from the church.

"Ahh," Sam mumbled as if in pain.

"What?" Dean asked, concerned.

"Demons. I can feel them," Sam whispered. "They'll want me back, unable to accept that this is over."

Sure enough something dashed in front of the car and Dean hit it without flinching. He quickly corrected the car after it swerved on impact. Nothing was stopping him now from getting his brother away from them.

"Let 'em try," Dean muttered as he swerved around more demons that dashed around the Impala. Soon he reached the highway and raced away. He glanced in the rearview mirror and saw about ten white robed figures fill the highway behind him, but they did not follow.

"We did it, Sammy," Dean said. "They're gone, right?"

Sam sighed but didn't answer, instead resting his head against the window and closed his eyes.

Three hours had passed and still Sam had his eyes closed. Dean knew his brother well enough to know he wasn't sleeping, but it was obvious he didn't want to talk. Dean clenched his jaw muscles and kept driving.

Another five hours passed and after Dean fell asleep for a moment behind the wheel, he knew he had to stop driving. Dean pulled into the next motel he saw and turned off the car. Still Sam didn't open his eyes

"Sammy? I wanted to take you straight to Bobby's but I got to stop driving, dude. Let's call it a night," Dean said.

"What?" Sam said as he opened his eyes and then blinked.

For a moment, Dean could have sworn they were black. No, Dean decided, it was his exhausted eyes playing tricks on him.

**Thanks for reading! The last chapter is almost done. You won't want to miss this exciting emotional conclusion!**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Then…**_

"_Demons. I can feel them," Sam whispered. "They'll want me back, unable to accept that this is over."_

_Sure enough something dashed in front of the car and Dean hit it without flinching. He quickly corrected the car after it swerved on impact. Nothing was stopping him now from getting his brother away from them._

"_Let 'em try," Dean muttered as he swerved around more demons that dashed around the Impala. Soon he reached the highway and raced away. He glanced in the rearview mirror and saw about ten white robed figures fill the highway behind him, but they did not follow._

"_We did it, Sammy," Dean said. "They're gone, right?"_

_Sam sighed but didn't answer, instead resting his head against the window and closed his eyes._

_Three hours had passed and still Sam had his eyes closed. Dean knew his brother well enough to know he wasn't sleeping, but it was obvious he didn't want to talk. Dean clenched his jaw muscles and kept driving._

_Another five hours passed and after Dean fell asleep for a moment, he knew he had to stop driving. Dean pulled into the next motel he saw and turned off the car. Still Sam didn't open his eyes_

"_Sammy? I wanted to head straight for Bobby's, but I got to stop driving, dude. Let's call it a night," Dean said._

"_What?" Sam said as he opened his eyes and then blinked._

_For a moment, Dean could have sworn they were black before Sam blinked. No, Dean decided, it was his exhausted eyes playing tricks on him._

_**Now…**_

**Chapter 7**

_Two days later…_

Dean pulled Sam along behind him as they wearily trudged up to walk to Bobby's front door. It was 1 AM, but Dean hadn't forgotten the promise he made to the older man that Bobby would be the first one they would see after it was all over. When they reached the door, even though he was exhausted as hell, Dean took a second to compose himself and put a smile on his face. This was a happy time, right? He didn't need to mention that Sam wouldn't look at him, much less talk about what happened, and seemed more and more withdrawn with each passing day.

Dean knocked hard and a light inside brightened the front windows behind the curtains a few moments later. Bobby threw open the door, an expression of anger at the interruption of his sleep, until it registered in his mind who was standing there in front of him. Bobby's expression softened into shock and relief, and a smile spread across his face.

"My God! Come in!" Bobby exclaimed as he excitedly pulled the pair inside. "I don't believe it! Is it really over? You boys did it?"

Dean nodded.

"Both our asses are safe. Check. Avoided the apocalypse. Check. Lilith is dead. Check," Dean joked.

Dean watched as Bobby glanced from him to Sam. After tears filled Bobby's eyes, tears filled Dean's eyes as well at the witnessing of their reunion. Bobby pulled Sam into a strong hug. Silent tears slipped down Sam's cheeks as he put his arms loosely around the older man.

"Boy, didn't they let you eat?" Bobby asked gently as they pulled away from each other.

Dean had had the same shocking first impression after Sam removed the white billowy robe. He had to focus not to let it show on his face to Sam when he did.

"I'm okay, Bobby," Sam said to the man, the same thing he had been telling Dean for the past few hours.

_Yeah right_, Dean thought, and he knew Bobby wouldn't accept that answer on face value either.

"Let me look at you," Bobby said and as Dean had done, Bobby took Sam's head in his hands and looked him in the eyes before running his hands lightly over his neck, arms, and torso. Sam flinched repeatedly, and tears filled Dean's eyes again.

"You got some cracked ribs," Bobby noted. "But I'm sure you know that already. And your back? Can I look at it?"

Sam closed his eyes again but nodded. Dean watched as Bobby slowly pulled up Sam's shirt, unable to tear his eyes away from a sight that he was sure would stay burned in his mind forever. Dean and Bobby both gasped at the multiple whip lashes and bruises across Sam's back, some old, some new. Dean felt bile rise in his throat and anger coursed through him.

"Son of a bitch! I'll kill them all! Every last one of them!" Dean yelled.

"Dean," Sam said quietly. "Does it really matter anymore? And we've both had worse and you know it. _You_ were in hell for crying out loud, or did you forget that?"

Bobby dropped Sam's shirt.

"I'll be in the kitchen when you're ready to get patched up," he said to Sam before leaving the two Winchesters alone.

Sam made a motion to follow, but Dean grabbed his arm.

"Hold on, Sammy. So…what you're saying is since I was _in_ hell, its okay that you were beat _to_ hell?" Dean asked.

"All I'm saying is this was hard on everyone, but it's over. Done. My body will heal," Sam said as he took a seat in a nearby chair.

"What about what they did to you in there?" Dean said as he pointed to Sam's temple.

"Like hell was a cakewalk for your psyche?" Sam asked.

Dean sighed.

"To tell you the truth, I don't remember my time in hell," Dean admitted. "But I know you remember the past few months with the demons. What you said to me in the clearing! It was so unlike you-."

"You…you don't remember hell? Anything?" Sam asked in disbelief.

Dean could hear the relief in his voice.

"No. Nothing. I used to wake up from nightmares, but I never remember what they were about," Dean explained.

"Thank God," Sam said with relief.

"Enough about me already! We just got you back and I need to know everything that happened to you-," Dean asserted.

"Like I said in the car, the answer is _no_," Sam said firmly as he stood up and began to walk to the kitchen.

"Sammy-," Dean began to protest.

"I SAID NO!" Sam yelled before he closed his eyes and visibly regained control.

"Why not? What are you afraid of?" Dean asked.

Sam didn't answer, and a moment later disappeared from sight into the kitchen.

_Three hours later…_

"Can't sleep, kid?" Bobby asked with a smile as he walked into the living room to where Dean had remained planted on the couch since they got back.

Bobby had with two mugs of steaming liquid in his hands and handed one to Dean.

"What…My couch ain't comfortable enough for you all of the sudden?" Bobby joked.

"It's not your couch, Bobby, it's…it's everything else," Dean explained before he tasted the coffee and grimaced.

"I know. It's got me all jacked up too. Hence the decaf tea. Can I sit?" Bobby asked.

Dean nodded and put the cup down on the coffee table.

"Go on," Bobby prompted as he took a sip of the hot liquid.

"It's just…well…Sam's back with us, I'm out of hell permanently, Lilith's dead…but it still doesn't seem right. _Sam _still doesn't seem right," Dean said

"Give it time," Bobby advised. "I mean, I'm no shrink, but I know that when you're in the thick of it, there's no time to process what's happening. You push it deep down inside you. I mean, his physical wounds will heal quickly, we'll get the pounds back on him, but his mind? _Now_, believe it or not, may be the hardest time for him yet."

"But he won't even talk to me about it!" Dean reminded him helplessly.

"Just give it time," Bobby repeated.

Dean sighed for what he guessed must be the millionth time that day.

"It's important to give yourself some time too. This has been hard on all of us. Just take it slow. And you boys can stay here as long as you like," Bobby said.

"Thanks," Dean said. "But I've never been one to take it slow."

_The next morning…_

Dean was roused awake by a soft creaking of floor boards and the front door opening and then clicking closed. He ran a hand over his stubble and then over his sore back. He hadn't slept well, unable to ignore Sam's screams off and on from nightmares the past few hours. Dean never went in his room though, as much as he wanted too. He hadn't wanted to embarrass Sam.

Dean sat up, squinting from the light now spilling into the living room, and pulled on his t-shirt. He swiveled to look out the window to see Sam slowly walking across the grassy yard to sit on the curb in front of the house. Dean startled for a moment at Sam's appearance until his mind caught up with him and reminded him what had happened.

Dean grabbed his jeans off of the floor and pulled them on over his black boxer briefs as he yawned. A quick glance at his watch told him it was barely 6:30 AM. After putting his feet into his shoes he walked outside to join his brother.

"Sammy?" Dean called to his brother as to not startle him. "What are you doing out here?"

Sam turned around from his spot on the curb and Dean had to force himself not to gasp at his brother's face. He had forgotten about his haunted eyes too.

"You forgot to tie your shoes," Sam noted before turning back around.

Dean sat down next to him.

"Don't…don't ask me again to talk about it, _please_," Sam pleaded. "I've…I've had a rough night, okay?"

Dean clenched his jaw muscles while he pondered his answer.

"I'm not going to ask you. Not today anyway…and not tomorrow. But someday, I _will _ask…and I hope that when I do…you'll answer because I can tell you from experience that if you don't deal with this kind of stuff, it will come back and bite you in the ass. Remember how I was after dad died? When I insisted I was okay?" Dean asked.

"I remember," Sam said with a nod of his head. "But this is different."

"This _is_ different, I know. How about for now… I tell you about what's happened to me since you were gone?" Dean asked gently.

"Not gonna change my mind," Sam reminded him.

"Like I said, Sammy. Not today. But me? I need to talk to someone…and my someone has always been you. Unless you rather I talk to Bobby instead-." Dean replied.

"Talk," Sam said.

Dean nodded and for the next two hours relayed the events that had happened since Sam left.

"Wow," Sam said as he shook his head. "I'm sorry that you went through all of that."

"An apology is not why I told you about all of that, Sammy!" Dean exclaimed.

"I know…but I'm sorry, okay?" Sam said.

"Okay," Dean said softly.

As he watched Sam flick a piece of grass with his finger, he hoped he had somehow made a little progress. Only time would tell.

_Two weeks later..._

"I don't know how much longer I can do this, Bobby," Dean said into the dark living room where he and the older man were watching a football game. As usual, Sam wasn't with them, again deciding to read in his room alone.

"Do what? Watch my team get there asses whooped?" Bobby asked as he took a chug of beer from the can.

"Stand by and do nothing about Sam!" Dean exclaimed.

After he put his beer down, Bobby sighed and hit the mute button on the remote.

"How long do I have to ignore the elephant in the room? Pretend that I don't hear him waking up screaming from nightmares every night?!" Dean continued.

"You mean like I did with you those first few weeks?" Bobby asked.

Dean's words got lost in his throat as he processed the man's words.

"What?" he asked.

"I didn't comment on _your_ nightmares night after night after you came back from hell because you said you didn't want to talk about it," Bobby clarified.

"I…I didn't know they were so…loud," Dean said softly because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"And you don't seem to have them anymore. At least not the ones that wake you up screaming. I left you alone like you wanted and you're doing allright now. You should do the same with Sam," Bobby said before turning back to the screen and clicking back on the volume.

Dean nodded.

_One and a half month later…_

"Well, Sam looks a hell of a lot better," Bobby said as he worked under the hood of his latest "wreck."

Dean knew it would only be a matter of time before the truck would be restored back to its former glory. Dean had nothing on Bobby in that department.

"Yeah, on the outside. If you didn't see him before, you wouldn't even notice. But inside? Bobby, he's still not talking about what the demons did to him. It's not like him. I've tried it your way. It's not getting us anywhere."

"If you ask me, and I think you are, we just have to keep on waiting. Now hand me that wrench," Bobby said as he held out his hand.

Dean sighed and did as his friend asked.

_One week later…_

"That's it, Sammy!" Dean declared as he stormed into Sam's makeshift bedroom.

Sam, who had been folding his recently laundered clothes, looked up in surprise.

"What?" he asked.

"What? _What_?!" Dean echoed. "Bobby's a smart guy…the smartest we know…but I can't follow his advice anymore. I just…I just can't. Not about this."

"What advice?" Sam asked in confusion.

"To give you space. Time to come to me about what happened," Dean continued.

"Dean, don't," Sam warned as he turned back around and returned to folding his laundry.

"No. Today is the day. I'm asking. What happened? I need to know as much as I know you need to tell me!" Dean implored.

Dean watched as Sam paused in his folding.

"_Not_…today," Sam repeated slowly as if trying to stay in control of his emotions.

"Today is the perfect day," Dean declared as he grabbed Sam's arm and spun him around.

"Don't…don't touch me," Sam ordered through tight lips.

"I can't seem to get you to talk to me unless I do! You have been doing nothing but the bare minimum of existing! That can't be enough for you and it's certainly not enough for me!" Dean insisted.

"Well, too…damn…bad!" Sam replied with disdain. "So sorry I've been bringing you down."

"Just talk to me about what it was like with the demons. That's all I ask! You'll feel better-," Dean said before Sam cut him off.

"Really?" Sam asked, obviously angry now. "_How_ will I feel better telling you how they beat me _senseless _every single night? Tied me to the wall with chains so I would stay upright even when my legs would no longer hold me up? Will it also make me feel better to describe how I even started begging them to just…let…up…a little bit?! That toward the end I begged them to let me _die_?! How they wouldn't let me eat, sleep, or drink until I repeated the crap they told me? That I started to believe it...still believe a lot of it even though I know in my heart that it's not true? HOW IS THAT GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!"

Dean was speechless for a moment before finding his voice again.

"Know that no one else would have been able to hold up like you did. _And_ you beat Lilith at her own game. I'm so proud of you. Bobby is too. You did it, Sammy. I am sorry that you had to go through that alone. But you're not alone anymore. Just please let us help you through this. I don't want Lilith to win in the end by destroying who you are."

"She already did, Dean," Sam said quietly.

"What?" Dean asked, his turn to be confused.

"Just ask Bobby," Sam said.

"Ask Bobby what?" Dean asked.

"No more," Sam said before he walked out of the room. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Damn it!" Dean yelled as he slammed his fist against the wall before storming out.

"Bobby?" Dean asked the older man when he finally found him organizing some tools and weapons in the shed in the back of his house.

"Yeah?" Bobby asked.

"Sam told me to ask you something. I'm not sure what…something about what happened with the demons or how he's changed?" Dean guessed.

Bobby's arms froze and he carefully put down the tool in his hand before turning back around.

"I ain't getting in the middle of this," Bobby declared cryptically before turning back to his task.

"If you know something about Sam that you're not telling me-," Dean began.

"Like I said, I AIN'T getting in the middle," Bobby reiterated without stopping. "You can ask me all you want. My answer is NOT going to change."

"Will no one talk to me?!" Dean yelled.

_Two days later…_

Dean was roused awake by whispering coming from the kitchen. When he glanced at his watch, he saw that it was 3AM. He quickly reached for his sawed off when the voices, louder now, were suddenly recognizable to him as Bobby and Sam. He quietly got up from the couch and moved a little closer to the doorway to listen.

"What are you doing, Sammy?" Bobby asked.

"Leaving," Sam said quietly a few moments later.

Dean's jaw dropped and his stomach tightened, but he decided to not interrupt the pair just yet.

"I see that. Forgot to say goodbye, did ya?" Bobby asked sarcastically.

"Bobby-," Sam began before Bobby cut him off.

"Don't you Bobby me, _boy. _I can't believe you're going to do this _again!_ You really gonna leave without at least saying goodbye to your brother? Just like you tried to do when you made the deal with Lilith?" Bobby asked in disbelief.

Dean listened as Sam sighed before continuing.

"You know why I have to leave," Sam responded so softly that Dean almost didn't hear him. "I can't forget it."

It was Bobby's turn to sigh now.

"It was an accident," Bobby reminded him.

"An accident that shouldn't have happened! I could have seriously hurt you! I'm dangerous, Bobby! I'm not fit to be around you two anymore. And you know as good as I do that Dean is not going to let up about wanting to know the truth! " Sam implored.

"So tell him! We can help you learn to control it-," Bobby said.

"I can't! You of all people know that first hand! And it's only a matter of time before it all goes down. I know it!" Sam implored.

"What do you mean?" Bobby asked, confused.

"The less you and Dean know, the better off you'll both be. No one can help me anyway," the younger man answered.

"You _know_ I disagree!" Bobby insisted. "Just stop and think this through-."

Dean shook his head in disbelief at what he was hearing. The fear at what Sam was hiding from him gripped at him so tightly that it suddenly felt difficult to breathe.

"Bobby, if I talk to Dean, he may convince me to stay for a while, sure...but nothing will change. I will still be this _thing_ that I am now. I will still be something…something that _deserves_ to be hunted. And when it comes to that…when it gets out what I am, and it may already have…I don't want you two caught in the crossfire," Sam explained.

For the next few moments, Dean heard nothing but silence. He could take no more and stepped into the doorway. As Dean looked at Sam's shocked expression, Bobby walked around him and out of the kitchen without another word. A moment later, Dean heard the front door open and slam closed.

"So…you're going to pull a Houdini because you're some big bad monster?" Dean asked. "Is that it?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

"How much did you hear?" Sam asked quietly.

"Enough," Dean replied. "Now you tell me what you can do," Dean ordered as he jabbed a finger in Sam's direction.

"The less you know the better," Sam repeated.

"BULL!" Dean yelled before he charged at Sam and pinned him against the wall, causing Sam's duffle bag to crash to the floor.

"Please, just let me go," Sam begged, tears in his eyes now.

Dean let go of Sam's shirt and shook his head in disbelief.

"Let you go?!" Dean asked angrily. "You…YOU are _all_ I've been trying to get _back_ for the past few months! And I've been trying hard, Sammy! I really have! Giving you space to come around and all that crap that Bobby suggested! And now you want to take even more space by leaving? Maybe you want me to just forget about you all together?"

Sam leaned down, picked up the strap of his bag, and put it back over his shoulder.

"That would be best," Sam said as a tear slipped down his cheek.

Dean shook his head again.

"I was being sarcastic, Sammy! You tell me what the hell is going on and we'll deal with it. _Together._ Simple as that! Stronger as a family! You told that to dad once, or don't you remember?" Dean asked.

"Of _course_ I remember, Dean," Sam said. "But I also remember that dad said if you couldn't save me, you'd have to kill me."

"I _already _saved you! You and the rest of the damned world is safe from Lilith and the apocalypse!" Dean reminded him furiously.

"No, you didn't," Sam said quietly and he obviously struggled not to get further upset.

"I didn't what?" Dean asked in confusion.

"Save me," Sam whispered.

"Come again?" Dean asked.

"No more. I have to go," Sam insisted as he rushed past Dean and into the leaving room as he headed for the front door.

Dean grabbed Sam's arm and spun him around before he got far.

"No more running, Sammy, no more avoiding the truth! You are NOT going to get off the hook that easy! You owe me that much!" Dean insisted.

"No, I owe you _more_ than that!" Sam said. "And my leaving is going to give that to you! Everything you _never_ had! With no more looming apocalypse and me out of the picture, you can finally be who you always wanted to be, but never could! You…you could have a family and a normal job…friends!"

"You're my family, Sammy! And I never said I needed any of that other stuff!" Dean yelled.

"That's because you never could imagine it as a possibility! Our reality never allowed you to have any dreams! Now you can," Sam decided as he again turned for the door.

"At least tell me if you always planned to say 'no' to Lilith and Lucifer at the end?" Dean asked, hoping the question would stall his brother to talk further.

Sam paused for a moment to laugh before resuming his walk to the door.

Dean watched Sam freeze after he heard him cock his gun.

"I swear to God, I will shoot out both your kneecaps unless you stop and talk to me once and for all," Dean promised as he steadied his sawed off at one of Sam's knees.

"No, you won't," Sam said with a suddenly firm voice as he turned around.

Suddenly, without explanation, Dean's mind was filled with such anguish that he could barely stand, much less hold up a gun. He fell to his knees and began to sob uncontrollably for no reason that he could understand. He struggled to stand, but was then hit with such grief that he was again lowered to the floor. Horrible images flashed through his mind that he could barely keep it together, much less concentrate on stopping Sam.

"_That,_ Dean," Dean heard Sam say from only inches from his ear. "Is what I can do. I can manipulate emotions like demons manipulate bodies and minds. I can make anyone feel anything that I want at any time. Believe me, I know. The demons had me try it over and over on the innocent people they brought to me day after day. I guess I should amend my statement to say I don't have control over _all_ emotions though, just the bad ones like hatred, pain, anguish, grief, rage, envy...you get the picture. I can make anyone vulnerable to possession this way or simply do anything I want while begging for mercy. I guess that was my part to play with Lucifer. I set 'em up so he could take them down. I'm sorry, so sorry, but you just wouldn't trust me on this without making me show you. Now you know why I'm dangerous. Why I have to leave and never come back. Why soon….if not already…hunters everywhere will be looking for me. The demons will make sure of that to have their revenge on me in the end."

"Sammy," Dean sobbed, unable to mutter much else through the emotional pain that continued to slam into him with tsunami-like force.

"I could make you want to kill me, but it would just tear you up to know what you did when the feeling wore off. You might then do something crazy again like the first time I died and make another deal. So…when you _finally_ realize how dangerous I am...that my demon blood does make me a monster and that I_ do_ need to die like dad said...I'll be waiting for you. And I do hope it's you who will kill me and not some other hunter, Dean. I wish you would grant me that much. But until then? Watch your back...and tell Bobby to do the same. Hunters are probably going to do anything to get to me," Sam said before Dean heard him walk away and out the door.

"Stronger…as…a..family!" Dean managed to yell out through his sobbing.

Dean watched as Sam paused a moment before turning back around.

"What the hell am I doing?!" Sam exclaimed a moment before the terrific sadness finally released it's vice grip on Dean.

Dean, still quite drained from the emotional episode, was unable to move yet, but he could hear Sam's words easily enough.

"What kind of life will it be for us to not only fight off demons, but fight off hunters as well?!" Sam implored as his eyes teared up.

"I guess," Dean said as he wiped the tears from his face and shakily stood up. "I guess it will be OUR life."

Sam stared at Dean, still looking as if he might bolt any minute. Dean waited, hoping to God that his little brother would make the right choice.

"What if I lose control like I did with Bobby? The things I can do," Sam whispered, tears in his eyes.

"Anyone can lose control, Sammy. Anyone can be dangerous or deadly. You know that. What matters is if you _want_ to hurt other people," Dean said.

"I don't!" Sam implored.

"Exactly. And that's the difference. You didn't want to hurt anyone when you were with the demons. You did it because of the deal, because of me, because you were in pain, their brainwashing you…but you didn't _want_ to do it. Not then and not now," Dean explained.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Sam nodded in agreement.

Dean walked over to his brother and grabbed him into a hug, feeling like for the first time in a long time, he might just have a chance in hell at saving his brother after all.

_Two hours later…_

"You sure you won't come with us, Bobby?" Dean asked at the doorway as Sam stood behind him.

"And leave my palace? Hell, you know I can handle demons and I sure as hell can handle a few fired up hunters," Bobby answered.

"It will be more than a few," Sam reminded him.

"Eh, let 'em come," Bobby said in dismissal.

"Well, then…I guess the only thing left to say is thanks…for everything," Dean said.

"Bobby, there's no way I can make up for-," Sam began to add.

"Just stay alive, you idigits," Bobby said as he pulled Dean in for a hug and then Sam.

The boys nodded and walked out of Bobby's house, both knowing it may be the last time they saw their friend for a long time…maybe ever.

Once their bags were tossed in the trunk and Dean and Sam took their respective seats in the Impala, Dean smiled.

"What?" Sam asked, a small smile on his face now too.

"It's good to have you back to your old self and back in the passenger seat again," Dean said. "I've missed my burger and pie fetcher."

"Very funny," Sam said before Dean saw the smile leave his face. "So what do we do now?" Sam asked after a moment.

"Our job. Bobby gave me a case," Dean answered as motioned toward a manila folder on the back seat. "And if the demons get in the way…well, we'll just take care of them like we always do."

"And the hunters?" Sam asked softly.

"We'll…we'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Dean answered after a moment of pondering that scenario.

"I guess I could always use my new…ability if I have to-," Sam thought out loud.

"NO! No!" Dean insisted. "You won't. Never again. We can stay alive and do our jobs without ANYTHING you learned from Lilith and the other demons. You got that?"

"Okay. Okay! Well, let me just say that if this all goes bad-," Sam began.

"Shut up, Sammy," Dean said as he turned the key in the ignition, not interested in hearing Sam remind him again that their dad said Dean may have to kill him.

"Just, just hear me out. I just wanted to say that if this all goes bad, I want you to know that you did it after all," Sam said.

"Did what?" Dean asked in confusion.

"Saved me," Sam answered.

Dean nodded and a little bit more of the weight lifted from his shoulders. Sam took out the GPS as Dean pulled the car away from Bobby's house.

**THE END**

_Thanks everyone for reading and sticking with this story! Hope you all enjoyed it!_


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